So Now What?

Ok so I’ve been attending work conditioning per doctors orders because on the last visit he said I should be good as new in a matter of weeks.
Well guess what?
IM NOT!

1 1/2 weeks ago while doing my program my wrist began to swell and the therapist discontinued the work circuit portion of my program and said I need to be re-evaluated in a few days.

Yesterday was the day it happened and they told me they needed to contact the doctor with their findings.
I was contacted by the scheduling department at the therapy center and they said the doctor had ordered a Functional Capacity Evaluation to see what my permanent restrictions will be.
I am assuming this means after 4 surgeries and hundreds of hours of therapy I’m now being told “Hey guy, this is the end of hope you will return to a normal life”
Perhaps I am just jumping the gun, but I know the amount of pain I am having and the fact that I can’t even pick up my daughter without scooping her up with my forearm under her underarm makes me feel like I’m being thrown under the bus!
I’m not trying to find a way out of work but what am I supposed to do?
I am good at what I do (despite what others may think) and I have always had employment that required just as much use of my hands as my brain.

I guess my ping-pong career is out the window too! 😦

I’m trying to keep a positive attitude over this entire ordeal, but everything around me is changing and none of it in a good way it seems.

I know things could be so much worse than they are and for that thankfulness is in my heart.

Updates to follow.

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Dear Mom

Another year has passed and it’s Mothers Day again. I wish I could say this year was easier than any of the other 26 that have passed Β since you have been gone, but I am sad to report that isn’t the case.

I know you would have stayed if the choice was yours so seeing that wasn’t the case I can’t be mad at you anymore.

I appreciate all the things you did do for me and I still regret that I was never really able to express to you how eternally grateful I am.

Please know I am trying the best I can down here. It isn’t always easy, but knowing you still watch over me when I need you helps πŸ™‚

Happy Mothers Day Mom!!

I Love You

Byron

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Making A Past For The Future

Most of you know that recently I began playing around with photography.
Am I good? Well not really, but I am trying to preserve the beautiful things that I encounter each day because not everything we see will last.

I was thinking about my childhood the other day.

The few things that I can remember are wonderful, but the things that I can’t still haunt me.

My dad died when I was 11 and my mom shortly thereafter when I was 14.

Death is a common thing for me, so much that when I was 17 I started working in a funeral home.

It was not a “Typical” job for someone that age but I did enjoy it for the most part.
Each service that I was part of I always heard “Remember the good things” or “We will always have the memories”.
What if those memories fade away?
I own only 2 photos from my childhood, one of my dad and his brothers and one of my my mom and dad sitting together.
There are probably more somewhere but I was never included when it was time to divide anything.

I wanted the opportunity to provide real and lasting memories that families can enjoy for years to come, thus Byron Ancel Photography was created.
My website features a few photos that I have taken with my Nikon D90 of various things around central Indiana over the last few months.

My dream is to hopefully someday be remembered as “The photographer who cared more about giving us a lasting memory, than taking our money”.

Not only has this become something that I look forward to doing, but it as also therapeutic.

By simply taking a few moments to look at nature and my surroundings and not focus on everyday stress I feel a new lease on life πŸ™‚

I have a long way to go and many things to learn about photography, but I just wanted to say “Thank You” to everyone who has given me encouragement with my new endeavor over the last few months.
Without you guys I don’t know where I would be today.

Byron

Posted in Family, Friends, Fun Stuff, Life, Life & Living, Nature, Thank You, The Small Things In Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Here I Go Again On My Own

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you would give anything to make it happen?

Well for more years than I can count now that has been my story. I know I have my faults (perhaps a few too many) but deep down I think I am a good and caring person.

Recently I have began to question myself though, 2 failed marriages and countless relationships all end in the same fashion, Crash & Burn! I try to give of myself but you can only face rejection so many times before you finally throw in the towel and quit, but that is a task I really don’t do well because if I have wanted something in the past I made it happen.

Do I have some kind of issue that in my sub conscience that makes me predestined to never be happy?

Am I truly an ass and cruel to those I come in contact with?

I really don’t have much to offer to anyone but the knowledge I have gained in 39 years and that must not be very much considering the boat I am in currently.

Being unemployed and more or less homeless hasn’t helped matters either. There are so many things I want to do but they will have to wait.

I just have to hold fast to the belief that everything happens for a reason and wait for tomorrow……… Tomorrow is a brand new day

 

Byron

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Tears, Chocolate Cake and A Circle of Friends

So these last couple months have been nothing better than a period of time thrown into a huge mixing bowl and combined into a gigantic ball of confusion and frustration.
Today however, it’s time to get up and get dressed and face another day

Something that has bothered me for a while but even more over the last few weeks.
“I can’t believe he did this” or “I had no idea it was this bad”
Well folks, he did and yes it was that bad.
I knew my friend for only a few months, but in that time we cried, we laughed and when I needed that extra pick-me-up I always heard “Hey man you need a hug?”
I may not fully understand what he was thinking, but at some point human suffering can only be taken for so long without giving into the demons inside.

So my friend, if there truly is a place up there waiting on us, please know your work down here will not go unfinished.

Please know that we aren’t mad at you and we don’t judge you for what you have done, rather we stand and salute you for the kindness and concern you have shown to each and every one, whether you saw it or not.

Take care my friend, and know this world will NOT be the same without you.

Byron

P.S.
If the chocolate cake is better up there, save us some! πŸ™‚

Miss you bro!

Posted in Family, Friends, Life, Sadness, Thank You, The Small Things In Life | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

It Is What It Is

Is it really that wrong to just want to "Belong" to something or someone?

Perhaps "Belong" is just too strong of a word to use and should be stricken
from my vocabulary?

Maybe it’s just that my expectations are simply too demanding?

I refuse to be anyone other than ME!

Take it and embrace ME or step out of the way please!

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Nature Is The Best Medicine

Since I have been out of work it does get quite boring waiting on the phone to ring so here are a few images I have captured along the way.



These are just a few of thousands of photos I have taken, so if you like what you see, why not head over to my page at Facebook and give me a like πŸ™‚ Byron Ancel Photography

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