Whats in a smile anyway

In august I will be 39 years old and in those years I’ve seen lots of things, many good and many bad.
I have memories of fun times and sad ones too. When I was in high school many years ago one of my teachers once asked why I always had a smile on my face because if there was anyone who had the right to be angry, I was the one.
That question has stayed with me to this very day and the answer is still the same “I smile because I have to”.
I started this blog a few months ago as therapy for myself so my answer could become “because I want to”
I’m not a talkative person in any way although I am quite skilled at it, but I would rather be caged with wild starving lions than to have a conversation with a stranger.
Recently I have paid the ultimate price for being who I am, and for everyone involved I am truly sorry.
I’m not sorry though for being who I am, rather for who I am not.
I know that things will be ok as time goes on and tomorrow is another day however this empty feeling sucks for now!
Feeling broken is not a new feeling in my world, but it is a feeling that to me is real despite what others try to tell me.
I’m rambling now so it’s a good time to stop.

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One Response to Whats in a smile anyway

  1. Cheryl says:

    Heh there!! Life can’t be that bad. You woke up this morning and you were still breathing…life is good. And make the best of it. If you’ve hit rock bottom (for whatever reason – that’s good because now it’s all upward from here. Go for it. Find out what the problems are – re-assess (sp) life and focus on what you need to do to get out of the quagmire.

    We’ve all experienced pain, loss and a bunch of bullshit in life. Here’s my motto – when the going gets tough – the tough get going. Don’t give up on the best life God gave you. He must’ve thought you were worthy. It’s your life – do with it the best you can.

    I do belief in the adage – you can do whatever you set your mind to. Take care!!


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