Sitting here watching television, within minutes I’ve seen 3 commercials for 3 competing hospitals.
Each one with a different speciality and of course the tag “13 Star Hospital” to “Who Would You Trust”.
Seems nowadays a big group has more pull than the little guy and that is sad.

Back in my day there were no capital venture groups (that I knew of at least) just a hospital that took care of sick folk!
They specialized in most everything, and if they didn’t they were quick to tell you to go somewhere else.

We’ve moved far beyond those days of bartering livestock for medical services.

I miss the good ole days!

I slept in today (till almost noon in fact) which is rare for me anymore. It wasn’t meant with any disrespect, but it just makes this day pass a little quicker.

When I finally put my feet on the floor I spent a few hours in quiet reflection of the few memories that I actually do still have because 29 years can play lots of tricks on ones mind.

I also must admit I have cried a few times today and I am in no way ashamed of that! The last few years I have tried to keep pushing forward and I hope that somehow you can see I am doing the best I can with what I have.

One thing that still haunts me to this day is the fact you never got the chance to see me accomplish anything to make you proud, however I hope that you can see from above the stewardship of the life you helped create some 39 years ago, I am doing my best I can with what I have today just like you taught us too!

Happy Fathers Day Daddy!!!

Love,

Byron

Although I wasn’t born at the time, I am quite sure it was just another hot summer day in Knoxville, TN.

The best thing that ever happened to me came into the world that very day that being my big brother Richard Allen Fenoglio.

If you knew Rick you can understand where I am coming from.

Never was there a better friend than he was. In all the time that I known him he was a kind and caring person. Sometimes his “Causes” were a little in left field but if he believed in something you had better not stand in his way.

Oh yeah, He LOVED to talk (unlike me) and he did it well!! It has been said that he didn’t speak his first words until he was 2 and he spent the rest of his life making up for that

When I returned home from his funeral I got a fortune cookie and it read: “If you cannot excel with talent, triumph with effort” and I knew that although he wasn’t here in body, his memory and spirit will walk within us forever.

So today as I still struggle with his loss, I will remember a man who may not have been the most talented at most things he did, but he put in the effort!!

I love you Rick and Thank You for being the MAN you were and will always be in the eyes of your little brother.

Perhaps time will help ease this void that now seems to fill my heart and I know that the one common love that we do share will help brighten even our darkest days with just one smile.
I have no hard feelings and and hope that life brings nothing but the best.

Thank You.
Byron

Ok so I’ve been attending work conditioning per doctors orders because on the last visit he said I should be good as new in a matter of weeks.
Well guess what?
IM NOT!

1 1/2 weeks ago while doing my program my wrist began to swell and the therapist discontinued the work circuit portion of my program and said I need to be re-evaluated in a few days.

Yesterday was the day it happened and they told me they needed to contact the doctor with their findings.
I was contacted by the scheduling department at the therapy center and they said the doctor had ordered a Functional Capacity Evaluation to see what my permanent restrictions will be.
I am assuming this means after 4 surgeries and hundreds of hours of therapy I’m now being told “Hey guy, this is the end of hope you will return to a normal life”
Perhaps I am just jumping the gun, but I know the amount of pain I am having and the fact that I can’t even pick up my daughter without scooping her up with my forearm under her underarm makes me feel like I’m being thrown under the bus!
I’m not trying to find a way out of work but what am I supposed to do?
I am good at what I do (despite what others may think) and I have always had employment that required just as much use of my hands as my brain.

I guess my ping-pong career is out the window too!

I’m trying to keep a positive attitude over this entire ordeal, but everything around me is changing and none of it in a good way it seems.

I know things could be so much worse than they are and for that thankfulness is in my heart.

Updates to follow.

I know you would have stayed if the choice was yours so seeing that wasn’t the case I can’t be mad at you anymore.

I appreciate all the things you did do for me and I still regret that I was never really able to express to you how eternally grateful I am.

Please know I am trying the best I can down here. It isn’t always easy, but knowing you still watch over me when I need you helps

Happy Mothers Day Mom!!

I Love You

Byron

Most of you know that recently I began playing around with photography.
Am I good? Well not really, but I am trying to preserve the beautiful things that I encounter each day because not everything we see will last.

I was thinking about my childhood the other day.

The few things that I can remember are wonderful, but the things that I can’t still haunt me.

My dad died when I was 11 and my mom shortly thereafter when I was 14.

Death is a common thing for me, so much that when I was 17 I started working in a funeral home.

It was not a “Typical” job for someone that age but I did enjoy it for the most part.
Each service that I was part of I always heard “Remember the good things” or “We will always have the memories”.
What if those memories fade away?
I own only 2 photos from my childhood, one of my dad and his brothers and one of my my mom and dad sitting together.
There are probably more somewhere but I was never included when it was time to divide anything.

I wanted the opportunity to provide real and lasting memories that families can enjoy for years to come, thus Byron Ancel Photography was created.
My website features a few photos that I have taken with my Nikon D90 of various things around central Indiana over the last few months.

My dream is to hopefully someday be remembered as “The photographer who cared more about giving us a lasting memory, than taking our money”.

Not only has this become something that I look forward to doing, but it as also therapeutic.

By simply taking a few moments to look at nature and my surroundings and not focus on everyday stress I feel a new lease on life

I have a long way to go and many things to learn about photography, but I just wanted to say “Thank You” to everyone who has given me encouragement with my new endeavor over the last few months.
Without you guys I don’t know where I would be today.

Byron

Well for more years than I can count now that has been my story. I know I have my faults (perhaps a few too many) but deep down I think I am a good and caring person.

Recently I have began to question myself though, 2 failed marriages and countless relationships all end in the same fashion, Crash & Burn! I try to give of myself but you can only face rejection so many times before you finally throw in the towel and quit, but that is a task I really don’t do well because if I have wanted something in the past I made it happen.

Do I have some kind of issue that in my sub conscience that makes me predestined to never be happy?

Am I truly an ass and cruel to those I come in contact with?

I really don’t have much to offer to anyone but the knowledge I have gained in 39 years and that must not be very much considering the boat I am in currently.

Being unemployed and more or less homeless hasn’t helped matters either. There are so many things I want to do but they will have to wait.

I just have to hold fast to the belief that everything happens for a reason and wait for tomorrow……… Tomorrow is a brand new day

Byron

Something that has bothered me for a while but even more over the last few weeks.
“I can’t believe he did this” or “I had no idea it was this bad”
Well folks, he did and yes it was that bad.
I knew my friend for only a few months, but in that time we cried, we laughed and when I needed that extra pick-me-up I always heard “Hey man you need a hug?”
I may not fully understand what he was thinking, but at some point human suffering can only be taken for so long without giving into the demons inside.

So my friend, if there truly is a place up there waiting on us, please know your work down here will not go unfinished.

Please know that we aren’t mad at you and we don’t judge you for what you have done, rather we stand and salute you for the kindness and concern you have shown to each and every one, whether you saw it or not.

Take care my friend, and know this world will NOT be the same without you.

Byron

P.S.
If the chocolate cake is better up there, save us some!

Miss you bro!

Perhaps "Belong" is just too strong of a word to use and should be stricken
from my vocabulary?

Maybe it’s just that my expectations are simply too demanding?

I refuse to be anyone other than ME!

Take it and embrace ME or step out of the way please!

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